Final Post

I will be honest this blogging thing is not really my style. I thought it would be interesting since I journal almost everyday. However its really complex and stressful. Obviously, I over committed myself this semester and I don't feel I gave my blog the attention it needed. There are so many blogging communities on my topic, it frustrated me to no end. I didn't want to repeat the topics I came across in different communities. I tried to approach from a different angle most of the time.

Overall the class was really interesting and the instructor's out of the box thinking intrigued me most. I would love to take another blogging class but I will make sure I dedicate enough time to the class. Writing is one of my passions and I learned through this class that I need to exercise self discipline if I plan to become a writer.

I did a lot of research on my project that I really didn't blog about that could have been helpful to some of my readers. It was extremely helpful to me that I'm starting a home based business next summer and donate proceeds to children who have been abused.

I do recommend others take this class it can bring about a sense of self discovery in yourself. I really want to make a difference when it comes to child abuse. I had no ideal I would feel such raw emotions within myself when it comes to this topic. I was abused as a child, I have friends who were abused, I know people who abuse their children, and it does more than sadden me, it infuriates me. A child is a gift from God and one day all those abusers will answer to their God, and I honestly pray He sends them all to hell.

Not So Precious....

Recently I saw the movie Precious. The movie is based on a novel called Push. In this movie "Precious" the main character is verbally and physically abused. Precious mother played by Monique the comedian allowed her boyfriend/husband to have a sexual relationship with her daughter. At the end of the movie Monique explains how the abuse of Precious started when she was a baby.

Monique and her boyfriend would have sex in the same room as Precious. Monique noticed one day that her boyfriend/husband was touching her daughter inappropriately while they were having sex. Monique did nothing to stop this infraction because she desperately wanted his love and attention.Precious became pregnant twice by her mother's husband. The first child was born with Down Syndrome. Precious second child was born healthy. Precious was determined to overcome the demons in her life. Precious bold move came when her mother tried to kill her second child after she came home from the hospital.

This movie I feel did not really showcase the abuse Precious received. I felt it could have been written better. As a spectator, I didn't walk away with anything. Obviously I realized the abuse Precious received but it was all done nonchalantly. Therefore as an audience member I'm sure others walked away from the film with no real meaning or understanding. Overall the movie wasn’t effective, rather boring and a whole lot of randomization. I felt like I was putting a puzzle together, some pieces just didn’t fit.

In one scene Monique was masturbating and couldn't climax and she called Precious in the room to assist her. They don't actually show Precious assisting her mother but it's implied. I’m sure this scene would have been too graphic to film, however, it was needed.

I didn't like the movie. I felt the directors could have gone further and deeper into the situation. It wasn't an eye opener for me. It's evident they wanted to go with the raw emotions of the characters, since most of the actresses were not allowed to wear makeup. Unfortunately the movie didn't deliver.

Analysis Paper

I'm having some difficulty with my analysis paper and would like lots of feedback on this post. For now my working thesis is : Child abuse is every one's responsibility. I know it's kind of vague. I have been wrecking my brain trying to come up with something better.

The whole idea of writing a paper and thesis statement absolutely terrifies me. So I'm probably making it much harder than it actually is. I'm going to explain what I'm trying to argue in my paper. It seems like more of an argumentative piece than analysis. All suggestions are extremely welcomed.

We are all familiar with the concept of being an accessory to murder. The accessory didn't actually commit the crime but was involved in some form or fashion. However, they are still charged with a crime and sentenced accordingly. So my argument is the same rule should apply to child abuse. I admit it will be somewhat harder to prove someone had actual knowledge of a child being abused and did nothing.

I'm not saying this is true in every case but for the most part there is a always a third party. My grandmother use to say if you let a person talk long enough they will tell on themselves.

For an example, my neighbor is a single parent like myself and she leaves her six year old son home alone. He would get up and go to school on his own and return home everyday. So one day I approached his mother in casual conversation. I mentioned I noticed her son walks alone to the bus stop and home every evening.

She explained to me that she didn't have a choice and she couldn't afford a sitter. I politely suggested that she could drop him off to me when she went to work at 4 am. It was an inconvenience for me but I rather the child not be left alone. To my surprise she agreed and I was pleased. She was hesitant at first then I explained to her what happens in case of a fire and he is home alone. I asked how would that affect her. The thought had never crossed her mind.

I was pleased that she accepted my offer but if she declined, I had a responsibility to notify Child Protective Services, (CPS). Imagine if her house did catch on fire and I never voiced my concern and her child dies in the fire. Am I not as guilty as the mother? I say, yes I am. I had prior knowledge the child was being left alone for most of the day. Should I be charged with a crime?

I know it sounds harsh but I could have prevented that child's death, right. This is the direction I would like to take for my paper but there is little data to support my thesis. I'm not saying to run and call CPS every chance you get but talk to the parent make sure your accusations are correct. Try to offer an alternative solution and if all else fails you must notify the authorities.

Sex Trafficking

I want my readers to understand abuse of a child can be in many forms. It's not always black and white, or fit a text book definition.

Shaniya Davis a five year old sold into slavery by her own mother. Sex trafficking has become very popular in the black community. Isn't this a modern day form of slavery. When we hear the word slavery most of our minds goes back to the middle passage. Today, looking back on slavery in Africa, we ponder why didn't someone put a stop to it sooner. I make that point to ask: What are you doing about human trafficking?

We turn a blind eye to these things as if its not our problem to fix. The solution has to start somewhere, why not with you or me. If we are not a part of the solution then we are part of the problem. How many times have you seen a mother verbally abuse a child in public or a father who grabs a little too hard at his son's arm. What did you do?

For most of us that answer is nothing. It's none of our business, that's what we tell ourselves. We never know how a few kind words of concern will affect someone. That father could be on his way home to kill his whole family. That mother maybe on her way to sell her daughter as a sex slave.

In the Christian community, they believe it takes a village to raise a child. Whether you are religious or not you can identify with that statement.

Shaniya suffered abuse by her mother and her attacker. Can you imagine Shaniya wondering: Why do I have to go with this strange man mommy? Can you hear Shaniya screaming as he rapes her and steals her innocence. Picture her face, can you see the amount of pain and fear in her eyes. Now imagine a day or so earlier, you see Shaniya with her mother. They are in a bad area of town at a local drug dealer's house. She maybe dropping Shaniya off, or she maybe purchasing some illegal drugs. You shake your head in disgust and most likely call her a bad parent. However; not once did you think to call yourself a bad person, for not calling the police or Child Protective Services. That day may have been the beginning of an end for Shaniya. You could have saved her.

Don't Shake The Baby!

It's 3 a.m. and the baby will not stop crying. It seems you have tried everything, feeding, changing the diaper, singing, pacing the floor back and forth but this child only wants to scream. This is reality for many of parents, the most annoying thing is not being able to figure out what the child needs to stop weeping. Some parents become frustrated to the point of shaking the child. The state of mind this parent is showing is abuse. Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) is a form of child abuse. SBS is when a child is violently shaken creating a whiplash type of motion.

This whiplash type of motion can cause severe brain damage to include death. In September of this year a father was arrested for child abuse and second degree homicide. Each year there are about 1,200 to 1,400 cases of SBS, 1 out of 4 babies actually die according to statistics. In many of these cases the parents are children themselves and have not been adequately trained on how to care for a baby. Sadly most men are the abusers in this form of child abuse; however, women have also been found guilty of such a violent act.

The purpose of this post is bring about awareness to Shaken Baby Syndrome. There are some who will disagree with SBS, but you can't deny taking the life of a child is not a homicide. Therefore violently shaken a baby to the point their brain swells has to be child abuse.

"I forgot the Baby was in the Car."

I may receive some flak for this post, but before you react please read the entire post.

Over the last several years there has been many causes of children dying in hot cars. These children have been left in these deathtrap vehicles by their parents. Some left intentionally, thinking they would just run in and out of the store and some didn't even realize their child(ren) were in the vehicle. No matter which way you slice your bread, this is still neglect. Neglect is a form of child abuse. As defined in a previous post neglect means to pay little or no attention too.

I recall a story about a single parent who left her children in a car for over eight hours. I searched many search engines and couldn't find the actual story to correctly site; therefore, I will recite from memory.

A single mother of four babysitter cancelled on her at the last minute. The mother scrambled and couldn't find a sitter. Being that she had no vacation or sick days to use she decided to take her children to work with her. In her mind she would work her shift and take periodical breaks to check on the children in the car. The mother made a few trips and the children were fine but then her supervisor asked her to work a little longer than her normal shift. She agreed thinking the children would be fine and she could check on them.

On this particular day the temperatures were higher than usual and the mother wasn't able to check on the children as frequently as she would like. I feel its important to say this mother was not a part of the system, she did not receive any aid or welfare from the state. She had worked extremely hard to buy a home for her children and support them completely alone. In my opinion this mother did everything right except realize the danger she put her children in.

At the end of her long shift the mother walks to her car to find all four of her children dead. The life style she busted her butt to give her children ended at that exact moment. We can "what if" her situation to death but in the end she neglected her children.

This is a heartbreaking story but we have to be aware of every decision we make as parents. Child abuse is a very broad spectrum.

What I don't know about this topic.

I don't know how many people will be affected by what I have to say.
I don't know if someone reading this is abusing their child at home.
I don't know if someone reading this has stopped abusing their child.
I don't know if I'm really bringing awareness to my cause.
I don't know if someone reading this was abused as a child.

I do pray that the next time you see a bruise on a child, you will investigate.
I do pray that we are paying more attention.

Survivor of Neglect

According to The American Heritage dictionary neglect is defined as: “to pay little or no attention to”. Why would anyone pay little or no attention to a child? Children are small human beings that are not capable of caring for them. They rely solely on a parent or caretaker to provide for them. So what happens when the child (ren) are not provided for? They become susceptible to different forms of neglect and illnesses.

Malnutrition is the biggest form of neglect. If a child does not receive the proper nutrients he/she needs, the end result could be death.As a child, I remember going to bed hunger many nights because we didn't have any food or money. We were not poor, my siblings and I just had poor parents; Parents who would use the money and sell all the food in the house to support their drug addiction. I was angry and thought of every possibility I could to feed my siblings. I was the oldest child in the house but still too young to get a real job and I was too proud to beg or ask the neighbors.

They were fully aware of what was going on, they just did nothing. No one lifted a finger to feed four hungry children.I started my own business. I would rake leaves, hang laundry, and even scratch the dandruff from my neighbors’ heads. Once a newspaper reporter took a picture of me hanging laundry and put it in the local paper. Obliviously, my parents were so proud; I believe this was the first time they had even noticed I wasn't home after school.The summer months were the hardest because there were no leaves to rake. My brother and I began shoplifting for food and clothes. We must have been really good or someone was looking out for us because we never got caught.

My parents were heavy drug users; I would only steal enough food for one meal at a time. I stole the same thing for dinner every day, a bag of rice, a can of cream of chicken soup, and an eight pack of drumsticks. Ironically, I do not eat drumsticks in my adult life at all.

I wish that was the only abuse I suffered. However, when I was 8 years old my stepfather’s brother sexually molested me. I tried my hardest to fight him off but of course he was much stronger than I. He was a truck driver and was in town for only a couple of weeks. After his visit I felt relief that the nightmare was over but I was wrong. It took me a few days to get up the courage to tell my mother. I broke my silence one morning while waiting for the school bus to pull up outside.

My mother didn’t move for a moment and then said “The bus is here, see you later.” In my mind I was thinking did she hear me or does she not care. That afternoon my mother pulled me aside and beat me and told me to never repeat what I told her that morning.

I couldn’t understand why I was being punished for something I had no control over. Why didn’t she believe me? Unfortunately, this infraction set the tone for our relationship which was nonexistent up until her death. I couldn’t even bring myself to cry at her funeral. She scarred me for life.

Silent Abuse

TamekaNecole: I am a product of Child Abuse!

TamekaNecole: I am a product of Child Abuse !

I am a product of Child Abuse!

The definition of child abuse is any mistreatment of a child by a parent or guardian to include neglect, beating, and sexual molestation per Webster. There are so many different ways a child can be abused. I will try and touch on as many as possible during this class. Being a survivor of child abuse myself I’m using this outlet to draw awareness. It seems people care more about child abuse when they can actually put a face to the name. It’s always difficult to tell your story because you do not want sympathy as a victim. I will like to show how some overcome their abuse and some do not. I also disagree with Webster’s definition anyone can abuse a child it does not have to be a family member. Recently in the news Jaycee Dugard was found and returned to her family. Jaycee was missing for 18 years, can you imagine all the abuse she faced. What a monstrosity; when being abused becomes a way of life and it seems normal.
I admit it’s difficult to write this blog; however, I can only write about things I can relate too and what matters to me. If I save just one child from this type of pain then it was all worth it. In the weeks to come I shall write about: verbal abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, abductions, death, and incest.

Introduction

Greetings and Salutations,

My name is Tameka Jones. My topic will be about child abuse. I'm finishing up my degree to become a teacher in early childhood development. Although I'm receieving my A.A. degree in Business Administration. I was working as an accountant when I prayed to God to lead my career path. I was frustrated with my job eventhough I was well paid, I wasn't fulfilled. He revealed to me that He had given me the gift of teaching. So the rest is history, I will finish my Business Administration degree and transfer to Old Dominion University to get my Master's in Education.